Delbarton abuse ‘follows me around like a dark cloud,’ alleged victim testifies at trial
MORRISTOWN — Nearly half a century after he says he was sexually assaulted at age 15 by a monk at the Delbarton School, a former student at the all-boys prep school testified on Sept. 22 that the trauma from that night “follows me around like a dark cloud.”
Identified only as T.M., the 1977 Delbarton graduate began his testimony last week, alleging that the Rev. Richard Lott, a Benedictine monk and chemistry teacher, took him to an off-campus New Year’s Eve party in 1975, plied him with alcohol and then brought him back to the cleric’s secluded quarters on campus, where he abused him.
The lawsuit names Delbarton School in Morris Township and its connected monastery, St. Mary’s Abbey, as defendants. In his initial testimony, T.M. said the incident ruined his life, affecting his relationships, belief in religion, career and mental health.
The defendants have denied any wrongdoing.
The lawsuit is the first to go to court among 39 pending abuse cases against Delbarton. It’s also believed to be the first clergy abuse suit against the Catholic Church to reach a courtroom in New Jersey, where hundreds of other cases have been filed alleging the church covered up violations for decades.
Beers ‘got the ball rolling’
Back in the witness chair on Sept. 22 after initial testimony last week, T.M. again recounted the circumstances of Dec. 31, 1975, when he says Lott took him to an off-campus party, then “got the ball rolling” by giving him beers.
After midnight, they returned to a Delbarton barn building used for several purposes, including storage and an office where T.M. “plopped down on a couch.”
Speaking calmly, he said he woke up some time later, “and realized I was losing my virginity to a priest.” T.M. testified in graphic detail about the incident.
The gallery in the small, packed courtroom included supporters of T.M., some of whom identified as victims of clergy sexual abuse.
Lott, a now-89-year-old cleric, previously testified that he was at a Jersey Shore church on New Year’s Eve in 1975.
“I was assigned to St. Mary’s Parish on weekends to celebrate Mass and hear confessions,” said Lott, who was an instructor and head of maintenance at Delbarton in the 1970s.
Sitting for cross-examination on Sept. 22, T.M. calmly answered questions from two defendant attorneys appearing to try to poke holes in his recollection of the events in question.
He was also questioned at several points about what they felt were inconsistencies in his testimony.
T.M. responded that in the beginning, it was difficult to revisit the traumatic details. But as he had time to “marinate” on the events, he was able to remember more details and piece them together.
“You have given different accounts,” defense attorney James Barletti said. “You had more than 40 years to marinate.”
“I didn’t spend 40 years reviewing every nook and cranny,” T.M. replied.
Referring to testimony he gave over eight depositions since 2018 — represented by reams and boxes of bound transcript printouts — T.M. said he really did not understand the impact the abuse had on him until about 2015, when he learned of the allegations mounting at Delbarton.
Asked if he told his mother of the abuse, T.M. replied “not in detail,” but he did indicate that it was sexual in nature. His father, he said, reacted with “indifference” and went back to watching the movie “The Secret of Santa Vittoria” on TV. “Like he couldn’t deal with it,” T.M. added.
He acknowledged that the trauma of the abuse did not prevent him from getting a college degree and going on to have normal intimate relationships with women, but he also blamed that trauma for contributing to the breakup of his marriage in 2008.
Questions by the attorneys in the cross-examination at times went into fine detail, such as asking how many beers Lott had given him at the party, or whether others had given him beer as well.
“The beer was not the trauma,” T.M. replied.
An eight-person jury — four men and four women — also heard initial testimony from a witness with expertise in counseling psychology and treating victims of child abuse. That testimony was expected to continue on Sept. 23 before Judge Louis Sceusi in Morristown.
In her initial testimony, Dr. Christine Courtois backed up T.M.’s explanation of why he has denied his trauma to a degree over the years, painting it as textbook behavior from a victim of child sexual abuse experiencing “chronic PTSD.”
She noted the added trauma of T.M. having to return to school soon after the abuse, where he still saw Lott “every day.”
T.M. said he reported the alleged assault to Abbot Brian Clarke in a letter but that Clarke, who headed the order and school, didn’t contact law enforcement. Instead, Clarke told him that Lott had “admitted” to the abuse, but that it would be best for the school and T.M.’s reputation to keep it quiet. T.M. said he agreed.
Clarke died in 2019.
William Westhoven
Morristown Daily Record
September 23, 2025
